careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
