I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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