you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
