My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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