he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
