you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
