Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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