it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
