Duck Duck Cougar?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
