what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
