I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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