I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize