Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
