Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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