and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
