failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
