whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
