Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
