Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
