Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
