No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's blow job season.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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