i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
