i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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