I can tuck mytits in my pants
wakey wakey hands off snakey
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
