Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
