Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
