Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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