You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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