Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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