God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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