This girl is more easily done than said...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
