I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
