I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize