I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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