does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize