I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
