Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
