dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize