I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
