Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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