You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
