I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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