I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
