He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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