I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
