Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
