he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
