Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
should my penis look like a turkey
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Someone shattered a urinal.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
