I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
