This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
