Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
