So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
