so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Green mimosas i think yes
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
