Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize