You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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