Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
