i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
