Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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