just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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