i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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