so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
