Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
