closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
