Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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