One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
sarcasm needs its own font
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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