it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize