Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
