apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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