This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize