It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
