whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
