Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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