some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
