My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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