Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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