Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
