i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
