she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
